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Thirsty Thursdays: THE GOONIES

Happy Thanksgiving, Invaders! To celebrate, this week’s Thirsty Thursdays pick is family friendly so the adults can enjoy some drinks and anyone under-21 can still enjoy the flick. So grab your copy of The Goonies and six-pack of a nice Portland-brewed IPA and prepare yourself for an awesome night.

Print out the rules courtesy of Drinking Cinema:

Drink whenever:

  • Chunk talks about food. Personally, I see nothing wrong with continuing to eat ice cream once you discover you’ve been stuffed into a walk-in freezer with a dead body. I mean, come on — they’ve got Chocolate Explosion!
  • Mikey takes a hit of his inhaler. It’s awesome that the hero of the piece is an asthmatic. Kids with asthma need role models too!
  • The Goonies consult One-Eyed Willy’s map. Remember, whenever you need to consult a map, make sure everyone in your group crowds around it and starts yelling. That’s how my family does it, at least.
  • You see a gadget! You know, as sweet as it is when Data’s dad says “You’re my best invention,” I have to disagree. The Pinchers of Power fucking saved his life.
  • The Goonies all yell at the same time. I consider it the greatest regret of my life that I haven’t yet had a chance to scream in horror at a bunch of pirate skeletons while clutching five or six of my best friends in an underground cave.
  • Somebody mentions “rich stuff.”
  • One-Eyed Willy is mentioned or [SPOILER ALERT] makes an appearance.
  • The Goonies encounter a booty trap! I mean booby trap! Double-drink if accompanied by a Looney Tunes sound effect (classic Chris Columbus!).
Sick of your family and need to drown your troubles? 
Chug whenever: 
  • Truffle Shuffle!
  • Somebody says a word wrong.
  • Chunk breaks something.
One fun rule to make sure everyone stays awake despite all the drinks:
  • Yell “Jerk Alert!” whenever there’s a (you guessed it!) JERK ALERT. Anyone who does not comply either has to finish their beer or change into sweatpants with shorts over ‘em.

Find Kristal Bailey directly on Twitter for more movie and booze related thoughts: 

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The Author

Kristal Bailey

Kristal Bailey

With a soft spot for movies that fall into the “So Bad They’re Good” category, Kristal Bailey regularly watches B-movies, 80s comedies, and sci-fi from the 50s and 60s. She also refuses to grow up if that means she has to hide her love for Disney and Pixar films.

In her free time, she enjoys reading graphic novels or books that are soon to be turned into movies, watching hours and hours of television, and spending way too much time on Twitter.