The 11 Best SPACEBALLS Quotes

In celebration of the 25th Anniversary Blu-Ray release of Mel Brook’s Spaceballs, I had a lot of fun rewatching one of my favorites in Brooks’ collection. What makes this one stand out from other spoofs is just how many great one-liners there are and how quotable it is overall. So, here are my picks for the top quotes from Spaceballs. 

11. Lone Starr: I wonder, will we ever see each other again?
Yogurt: Who knows? God willing, we’ll all meet again in Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money.

10. Dark Helmet: I bet she gives great helmet.

9. President Skroob: One pod left and three of us and I’m the President. Well, boys, it’s a very lovely ship. I think you should go down with it.

8. Dark Helmet: WHAT? You went over my helmet?

7. Megamaid Guard: What the hell are you doing?
Lone Starr: The Vulcan neck pinch?
Megamaid Guard: No, no, no, stupid, you’ve got it much too high. It’s down here where the shoulder meets the neck.
[Lone Star changes hand position]
Lone Starr: Like this?
Megamaid Guard: Yeah!
[guard falls to the ground]
Lone Starr: Thanks.

6. Lone Starr: What the hell was that noise?
Dot Matrix: That was my virgin-alarm. It’s programmed to go off before you do!

5. President Skroob: Sandurz, Sandurz. You got to help me. I don’t know what to do. I can’t make decisions. I’m a president!

4. Minister: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness Princess Vespa, daughter of King Roland going right past the altar, heading down the ramp and out the door!

3. Dark Helmet: Prepare to attack! On the count of three. One… two…
[Eagle 5 suddenly blasts out of sight]
Dark Helmet: WAIT! What happened? Where are they?
Colonel Sandurz: [worried] I don’t know sir! They must have hyperjets on that thing.

2. Dark Helmet: You have the ring, and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Now let’s see how well you handle it.

1. Radar Technician: I’m having trouble with the radar, sir.
Dark Helmet: What’s wrong with it?
Radar Technician: I’ve lost the bleeps, I’ve lost the sweeps, and I’ve lost the creeps.
Dark Helmet: The what?
Colonel Sandurz: The what?
Dark Helmet: And the what?
Radar Technician: You know. The bleeps.
[makes bleep sound effect, making a ripple motion with his fingers]
Radar Technician: The sweeps.
[makes sweep sound. Quivers his face while doing it]
Radar Technician: And the creeps.
[makes creep sound, making little movements with his fingers]
Dark Helmet: [to Colonel Sandurz] That’s not all he’s lost.

Do you agree with my list? Sound off in the comments with your favorite quotes!

Follow Kristal Bailey on Twitter @kristal_bailey and be sure to follow @ScreenInvasion to stay up to date on the latest entertainment news and reviews! 


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The Author

Kristal Bailey

Kristal Bailey

With a soft spot for movies that fall into the “So Bad They’re Good” category, Kristal Bailey regularly watches B-movies, 80s comedies, and sci-fi from the 50s and 60s. She also refuses to grow up if that means she has to hide her love for Disney and Pixar films.

In her free time, she enjoys reading graphic novels or books that are soon to be turned into movies, watching hours and hours of television, and spending way too much time on Twitter.