TVTV Recaps

Watching the Throne: The Night Lands

This recap is not Ned Stark, it knows how this game is played, and if you ever threaten it again, it will throw you into the sea. Let’s all take a moment to reflect upon how badass Tyrion was this week…and not think about how late this recap is! Seriously though, I want to apologize to everyone who reads my articles for getting this recap in so late this week. Next week, I will be back with fully loaded, dense and hopefully very entertaining Game of Thrones recap. But until then, this recap of The Night Lands will have to do.

A (very questionably) wise 80’s pop star by the name George Michael once sang that: “You gotta have faith”; however, for most of the characters in GOT, faith is a foolish concept they can’t afford to entertain in their thoughts for very long. In this week’s episode all the characters were struggling with issues of faith, loyalty, and morality.

What's the over/under on how long circa-1987 George Micheal would survive on GOT?

In the South

Tyrion struggles to remain the ‘good’ Lannister, while dealing with his sister and all the other sharks in King’s Landing. But before Tyrion can even issue one decree, he finds Lord Varys inside his chambers sharing a few laughs with Shea. After a few thinly veiled threats from Varys, Tyrion lays down the law and reminds the spider that unlike the last hand of the king, he is not a dumb-dumb when it comes to matters of intrigue and treachery. He also assures Varys that he will straight up drown his ass if he ever speaks out of turn again!

Believe I worded it bit better than that, but, yes…that was the gist of it.

The scene was very similar to Cersei’s scene with Littlefinger last week, but Varys, unlike Littlefinger, doesn’t appear to be that impressed with Tyrion’s posturing. So, Tyrion is left with little other recourse than to make a point, and make an example out of someone. He has the captain of the city watch (AKA the dude who killed the baby in the brothel) arrested and instates Bronn as the new Captain. Will that be enough to show Cersei, Varys, Littlefinger, and Grand Maester Pycelle he means business?

No. Having read the book I can go ahead and answer that question for you, but their lack of submission to Tyrion does allow everyone’s favorite imp a few more opportunities to assert his power and dominance in King’s Landing. Trust me, you aint seen nothing yet…

On the King’s road

We finally get to check back in with one of my all-time favorite characters of the series, Arya Stark. She is headed back home to Winterfell, disguised as a boy. Arya holds her own with the rough and tumble new recruits of the Night’s Watch. She even make’s a friend in Gendry, the former armorer’s apprentice, and bastard son of King Robert.

The Iron Islands

Theon journeys home to the Iron Islands on a boat. Theon makes sweet, sweet love on a boat. Theon expects big warm welcome. Theon does not receive big warm welcome. Theon gets on a horse with a girl. Theon attempts to make sweet, sweet love, again…while he is still riding on the horse. Theon meets his Dad, Balon. His Dad calls him a whore. Also, it turns out that girl he was riding with is his sister. Gross.

Theon Gravejoy ladies and gentleman! He’ll be here on week. Don’t forget to tip your salt wives.

Beyond the wall

Jon Snow finds himself torn between doing the (possible) right thing and following orders.  Good ole’ Sam falls in love with one of Craster’s daughter’s, Gilly, after being her presence for like, 0.2 seconds.  Same brings her to Jon with the idea that they should take her with them when they head further north.  Jon doesn’t think this will be doable… to say the least. Gilly fears what will happen to her child if it turns out to be a boy, and Jon, perhaps driven by his inborn Stark nobility, want’s to find out what Craster does with his sons. Jon waits until everyone is asleep and follows Craster out into the deep dark forest where he witnesses Craster place his newborn son in the snow and walk off.  We catch a brief glimpse of a white walker taking the child away into forrest, and before Jon can do anything about it, he gets knocked out Craster. Last week babies were butchered. This week, babies are being offered up as blood sacrifices. I shudder to think about what’s going to happen next week. Attention babies of Westeros:  It’s officially time to get the F out of dodge!'s been a good run....I guess...

Across the Narrow Sea

Man, I hate to issue complaint against this magnificent show….but alas, I must. We need more Danearys!  She had one friggin’ scene for crying out loud! Here’s what happened in said scene: she is sitting down and then she gets up to go hug someone. I think there was a horse involved in some capacity. I understand that her scenes are probably very tricky to pull off from both a budgetary and logistic standpoint. However, I need more Danearys. The audience demands more Danearys as well. Do better writers… you don’t want to wake the dragon…


Once again, religion enters the equation. Here we see tough and stoic Stannis torn between his honor and his lustful feelings for Melisandre. However, in this instance honor gets placed aside for the moment and lust wins out. Stannis’ right hand man, Ser Davos is struggling to understand his son’s religious beliefs. Davos believes in Stannis, but he does not put his faith in Stannis’ God, unlike his son who is a believer in the god of light. Stannis puts his trust in Melisandre who promises victory through supernatural aide, and also Ser Davos, who is taking actual steps to ensure their victory over the Lannisters. How will all these wildly different characters be able to co-exist, given their wildly different beliefs? There are no easy answers to found in the world of GOT, and if there are Gods and Goddesses, they are probably as cruel as King Joffery.

That will wrap it up for this week.  Here is a preview for the upcoming episode.

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The Author

Chris Baldwin

Chris Baldwin

Chris Baldwin is a sometimes college student, a most of the time pop culture geek, and aspiring comic book writer. He loves: movies, comics, good television, (no Snookis or Kardashians please and thank you) short fiction, long fiction, Stephen King’s fiction, all things Nintendo, music, standup comedy, sushi, and beer. He is from the south; Midway, Kentucky to be exact. GO CATS!! He’s required by state law to say that. He spent the last few years attending college at Western Kentucky University where he studied pop culture, creative writing, and film. Sometimes, he turns off the geek and enjoys the great outdoors, but only sometimes.