Deconstructing the first trailer for Miley Cyrus' LOL

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The first trailer for the American remake of French romantic comedy LOL offers very little. Least of all, ironically, are LOLs.

This Miley Cyrus vehicle appears to fall into the same bracket as most Hollywood’s efforts in this genre — namely, being shit — as it tells the story of a teenage girl navigating her way through adolescence while she falls in love with a schoolmate.

So why, I hear you ask, does the film look so bad? Well, let’s run through it, shall we?

	We’re told to “Meet Lola” in a revolutionary work of voiceover narration that has certainly never been done before. It’s not entirely clear at this moment, however, which one of these girls Lola is. I think it’s the one on the left.
	Oh wait, no, Lola was the one in the middle. She tells us everyone calls her LOL – well, with the exception of the narrator, it seems. We assume it’s because we’re in the 21^st century and, y’know, that’s what kids say these days.
	We then inexplicably cut to a volleyball court while the soundtrack has LOL releasing a wolf’s howl. At no point is it clear why she lets out a howl – it doesn’t appear to relate to the volleyball game – and so we assume that she is one of MTV’s teen wolves.
	“She’s at that special age…” Mr. Voiceover Man tells us. The girl who I originally thought was LOL then wakes up in a muscle costume. Is that supposed to be a joke?
	This reaction shot does in fact confirm that it was a joke. Cheers for clearing that up, guys.
	“…When hearts are broken,” he continues as LOL etches a heart with her and Chad’s name into a door. For a film about high school it’s peculiar that there’s not a single penis drawn on there. And who graffitis a flower?!
	We then see Chad telling LOL that he hooked up with a girl and she consequently crosses out his name. In the background, my thoughts on the trailer have also been etched into the bathroom wall: Save me.
	“Where R U?” LOL texts another boy.
	He is standing two feet away from her.
	LOL and this new partner – wow, she moves fast, eh? – now run back to school as they are evidently late. Why they couldn’t simply meet at school has not been explained.
	“Why are you late?” a teacher asks. The boy responds, “You’re going to laugh.” “This is as much as I laugh,” she replies with a straight face. We’re not sure if this is a dark twist in the narrative’s tone or a joke.
	Thanks for clearing that up again.
	Her still unnamed love interest asks if LOL can go to France with him. She replies that she can. It appears they are preparing a romantic holiday together!
	But no! Suddenly, it appears her entire collection of friends and family have all traveled to France too. At this point, I haven’t got a clue what’s going on anymore. Is the boy French or something? He had an American accent! Why didn’t they make this clear by, I don’t know, giving him a mustache, making him wear black and white stripes and drink expensive wine. That’s what Hollywood normally does in these situations!
	I… kind of gathered that… thanks?
	“When you turn 18 there’s a few things I won’t tolerate,” LOL’s Mum, who I seriously hope is named ROFL, tells her. “Like what?!” LOL shouts. “Like messing up your life!” Erm, wut? So messing up your life is fine until you’re 18, right?
	Then a bunch of stuff happens in a montage over a cheesy pop rock song. We see LOL’s teen angst, a bit of romance and are shown that her unnamed and possibly French new partner is also a famous singer. You know, nothing important.
	URGH.
	URRRRRRGGGHHH.
	In a post-title joke, Miley Cyrus calls some girl’s underwear “skankville” which is hilarious because it’s still 2003. Her dark-haired friend — the one who wears muscle suit and I originally thought was LOL — says she’d like her ass though. Once again, we’re not sure if this is a hint at the character’s low self-esteem and desire to adopt the characteristics of those around her or, also, simply just a joke. Can you clarify that one for us too please, trailer?
	Cheers, bro.